Skinny jeans

Ok so maybe I was a little optimistic last night. I mean...Do I really mean it this time? Am I actually going to work out every day (ok more like every other day)? Will I really change my life this time and not just be on the next new diet? Well probably not but it's a start. So as hungover as I was I crawled out of bed, wishing someone would put me out of my misery and went downstairs with every intention of getting on my new eliptical and work on my fitness! But I needed my ipod out of the car. And there it was...another excuse for not doing it. So here I am on the computer, not on my new eliptical and not changing my life like I so badly want to, again.

I have tried almost every quick fix fad diet there is and even gotten scammed a few times, you know the ones, and have been up and down and up again with my chubbiness. I'm not saying how much I weigh but let just say I'm about 40 lbs more than I'd like to be. Or actually I'm about 3 pants sizes too big for my skinny jeans. And not the super tight skinny at the ankle new trendy skinny jeans, but my old jeans in the top of my closet that I've been holding on to for the past 5 years. You know you have some too. But honestly, when I loose 3 pant sizes (cuz I will) I'm not gonna wear those old jeans, I'm gonna buy new ones!! But for now I buy purses. Or bags, handbags, wallets, whatever. You never have to try them on and they always fit just right! So yesterday while school shopping at the mall with my teenager, trying to find the perfect pair of skinny jeans (the trendy ones), I caught a glimps of myself in the dressing room mirror. It took all I had to avoid that mirror, but there it was. And there I was, my stomach hanging over my size fifteens like a not so tasty muffin top. Ugh! And the thought crossed my mind that I need to be shopping for jeans too, bigger ones, No way! I refuse. So I bought a new purse instead, and new wallet. I felt a little better, well happier that my new purse was so cute but my too tight jeans were still squishing everything out as I walked and I had to keep pulling them up so my beerbelly would stay in. What happened? Well I understand that I'm not 18 anymore and I'll never be a size 3 again, nor do I want to. I like having boobs, but does that mean I get stuck with big everything else too?

So I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna go get on the eliptical, the one I bought for the sole purpose of fitting into those skinny jeans again!

Seriously ~

I don't have any "now" picture of me because I am not that brave to have one taken. So I can't be as fancy as Molly. I am truly at my heaviest and I hate to say it but I just don't every feel like dieting - I eat. Maybe its cause I don't smoke anymore or maybe it because I'm bored. I don't know why I eat but I do - all the time. So I need to find a way to eat things that aren't Chocolate Cake or find a reason cause I'm fat but health wise I'm really doing better then I was when I was drinking and smoking.

I need to set a goal - I did really good when my goal was to fit in my wedding dress but I don't have anything special like that coming up (maybe I need to get married again :) - oh yeah - I'm still married!
Any suggestions????

Thanks Bek!

Well we finally figured it out and now I am able to blog too! I was worried I would never figure it out. All though...all the time it took trying to get on here I could have been working out. Well there is always tomorrow! So tonight I'm going out and drinking beer (maybe a few shots) and probably gaining more weight. I always say "I'll start my new diet tomorrow" but not this time. Tomorrow...I'll start my new life!

BIG PIG!!

Sorry Mol, I'll tell my story....I just ate 2 pieces of chocolate cake. The missionaries were here for dinner and you have to have dessert.

Why?

Why am I the only sister chatting on here! It's time you ladies told your story, nobody likes to hear from just me!

Milestone

Milestone: Pronunciation: \ˈmī(-ə)l-ˌstōn\ Function: noun
1 : a stone serving as a milepost 2 : a significant point in development.
Several weeks ago, the doctor I work for (also the one helping me along this journey) gave me a card, just a plain 3x5 index card. He had written on one side "Long, Slow, Distance", then on the other side he told me to write the follow; things that make me happy, keep me busy, calm me down, and take my mind off food.
One of the things on above said list is scrap-booking, and since I haven't scrap-booked in a very long time, I have been perusing scrapbook websites (as you can see from all the buttons over there )to get ideas and inspiration. An album idea that caught my attention was Capturing Milestones. Now, they meant it as your wedding or baby’s first steps, or first day of school, buying a house & so forth. But I realized today that I have hit several milestones since May 17, 2009 (date I started journey).
So here it goes … I’m documenting my biggest milestone to date! Yesterday, when I stepped out of the shower and dried off, I heard feet coming down the hallway to my room and since there isn’t a real door from the bedroom portion into the bathroom portion of my bedroom I quickly wrapped the towel around me. And guess what … it wrapped all the way around and I was able to tuck the corner in. It completely covered me! I stood there, looking in the mirror and then looking down at my covered self and back in the mirror again. I couldn’t believe it; I was so excited, that later last night I did again. I stripped down and wrapped the towel around me, just to make sure I wasn’t imagining what had happened earlier. I can't remember how long it's been since an ordinary bath towel could cover my whole self!
“Long, Slow, Distance” means patience … a trait that I do not have, (and anyone who knows me is nodding their head right now). So I count the little stepping stones that get me to a milestone that will eventually, someday lead me on a different journey.
It's the little things that count!

Skipping Church!

I crawled out of bed this morning wishfully and longingly thinking of last Sunday's breakfast. Dan had made his famous french toast, where he starts with thick sweet bread, then dips in batter and rolls in crushed frosted flakes, bakes, and ends with drizzles of warm maple syrup. The sweet smell was to powerful to overcome and I enjoyed every last bite (even the left-overs I ate cold for a late night snack). Although this morning, as with every other morning this week, I have ... enjoyed? or tolerated? my morning "shake". Some days, the fact that I have lost 27 lbs, and am taking less meds has to be repeated in my head over and over again! Today was one of those days ...

My dietary habits are now 2 daily "shakes" 1 for breakfast, another for lunch. A piece of fruit for a snack and a rather large salad with ... chicken? Again? But again "I have lost ____," just keep saying that over & over again "I have lost this much"

I have spent all of today trying to figure out how to make our blog cute! I've traveled from one blog to another. I started with scrap-booking blogs, and my friends blog http://alicatknits.blogspot.com/, I clicked on the followers or links and what I found was creative (and not so creative) people out there, and I found myself longing to be that creative. As I jealously went from blog to blog I lost all track of time, it's well past lunch ... and I haven't even noticed I'm hungry, I should actually be at church now, but my husband quietly left without me. I remember several days ago asking my son "Danny, how do you do a Blog?" his answer was a roll of his eyes, "what? Don't you learn that in school", then came "Mom, Blogs are for nerds", "Well, what does that mean" ... "Nerds, mom ... why would I learn how to do a blog". Well then, I guess I'm on my own ... trying to become a "Nerd"

So, I guess my point of this post is ... in my quest to become a nerd, I forgot how hungry I was, I forgot about the wonderfully good french toast of last week and I chugged my morning breakfast shake in my cute mug from Tammy.

So this is me @ the start of this particular journey ... one that I've been on many time before. That was about 3 months ago, I am now 27.8 lbs less. The most I've ever lost in one diet is 27 lbs, so if I make it to 30 ... I'll think I'm doing okay now.

As the oldest, it seems natural that I should be the "plumpest", which, I must say I have lived up to that! But, I turn 40 this year ... I was taking 9 different medications a day (have since been able to eliminate 4) Need I say more?

Still Working this out

I'm still working this out ... but I'm learning!

Day 1

ok today is going to be my offical day one
true weight = 183.0 7:00am

we will see how the day goes.

first post!!!

5 sisters - why am I here by myself??? where are the other 4 sisters. Today is not day one for me in the battle of the buldge its just day one of the blogging.

weight - 184.4 at 7:13pm - I wasn't even this heavy 9 months pregnant
size - 14 - barely was a 10 9months pregnant

I have offically hit my heaviest! No wonder we hardly every have ***.